I hate paper straws, even as an environmentalist

I first heard of paper straws at a small smoothie shop in my hometown. The shop was early to the anti-plastic straw movement. I was initially skeptical because of what I learned in one of my first elementary school art classes — do not use too much water while painting or the paper will disintegrate.

The paper straws had the same problem. The first few sips of my strawberry banana smoothie were heavenly. However, my ability to enjoy the fruity drink was short-lived. In just minutes, the two sides of the straw stuck together, forcing me to remove the lid and sip the rest of my smoothie.

Despite my exasperation with saturated straws, that is not why they are an ineffective solution to the real need to increase sustainability.

Plastic straws are indeed harmful to the environment. Americans use 50 million straws daily, and about 7.5 million straws pollute the United States’ coastlines. Overall, there are an estimated 437 million to 8.3 billion plastic straws on coastlines around the world.

However, plastic straws only comprise 0.025% of the plastic waste in the oceans. Put another way, you’re more likely to be drafted to the NBA than you are to find a plastic straw in our oceans.

Corporations typically find the easiest way to look like they positively impact the environment. The switch from plastic to paper straws is a shallow attempt at just this. Jim Leape, co-director of the Stanford Center for Ocean Solutions, explains that inconsequential actions such as banning plastic straws serve as merely a "moral license" that lets companies and customers feel like they have done their part without having to take more drastic measures which could endanger their profits or preferences. Companies must avoid being labeled as environmentally unfriendly to uphold their image, so they do the bare minimum by eliminating plastic straws, allowing them to divert attention from their more damaging pollution practices.

If you’re an avid coffee drinker, you may have noticed that paper straws are popping up at various Starbucks nationwide. However, plastic cups still fill their stores.

In 2015, Starbucks pledged to offer a fully recyclable cup and sell at least 25% of their drinks in reusable cups. Yet, it is 2023, and the coffee giant only sells 1.6% of their drinks in non-disposable cups or mugs.

We can find the paper straw moral license in places like McDonald's too. Ironically, their paper straws aren't even recyclable. Even if they were, it doesn't make up for the massive environmental damage McDonald's causes each year.

The burger chain buys around 1.9 billion pounds of beef each year, necessitating the slaughter of more than 7 million cattle annually. That production results in around 53 metric tons of greenhouse gas emissions — exceeding the total emissions of several European nations. Through the mass-producing cattle factory farms employed by McDonald's and its suppliers, high levels of methane are released — a potent greenhouse gas and hazardous pollutant that, according to the United Nations Environment Programme, causes nearly 1 million premature deaths every year.

SeaWorld is another large corporation that fell into the paper straw trap. The theme park company seems to believe the deaths of at least 44 endangered orcas could be softened by their decision to serve beverages with paper straws. Maybe SeaWorld will help make the oceans insignificantly cleaner, but their captive animals won't be able to reap the benefits.

Whether you’re a large company or a college student, using paper straws does not mean you’re environmentally friendly.

Starbucks could focus on engineering biodegradable cups. Or they could eliminate the additional charge on plant-based milk that discourages customers from choosing those more sustainable options. McDonald's could focus on selling their "McPlant" plant-based burger at all locations rather than slaughtering more methane-producing cows. Students can actually spend time researching ways to be green and stick to it rather than judging others for using straws.

Let's stop believing that using soggy vessels to drink your latte will save the planet. The only thing paper straws do other than torture users is distract us from all the damage companies continue to cause the environment. It's long past time we stop lying to ourselves and do something that will actually help the planet: reduce, reuse, recycle, eat sustainably, advocate for change and hold these companies accountable. They might have the money, but we, as consumers, have the power — if we all work collectively.

It's time for real change, not phony gimmicks. But first, give us back our plastic straws.